My memories are there. Someday they may fade but my heart still knows love. I drove along my path, doing my errands and making decisions along the way. I only knew the things I had to do but not where I would land. Along the way during the day I decided to head to my Mom's. I spent a lot of time on my journey. The car seems to be a place for my heart to find comfort. After Scott died it was the only place I felt any control. My friends made sure I was safe but let me guide the way.
My mind jumps from topic to topic and those that are closest to me are the ones where our conversations are circular and never end. Those are the people I'm drawn to but aren't those the best people to have? The ones who time and space cease to exist no matter how long it's been since you've seen them.
Scott and I used to have this ongoing conversation about knowing when a moment is right and life is to short not to believe in those you love! He gave me love to keep living forward. My prayers are answered daily in little ways and I know it is my duty to listen to those softly spoken instructions in my heart. My path lead me to my Mom. This week was a struggle for her with the birthdays of my Grandmother and my Aunt. She needed me to visit and I heard the whisper.
There are people in my life that I can never repay. I do my best but I can only give from my heart and hope they know the strength they have given me to live. My house may be empty but my love is full. Scott is still part of that love. On my way to my Mom's I had a lot of things to process. How do you explain to people that they have touched your life enough to keep you here on this plane of existence? Yes Hannah is my reason for living but there are some who often remind me of that without knowing.
I got a text today that reminds me my friends love me and will protect me. They have figured out what I'm trying to ignore - April 4th. They know I need them and will be there for me on the day I would chose not to see. It is okay my prayers are answered each day. I am surrounded by light and love. I'm guided and protected and one day my love will soar once again. Until that day I will listen to he whispers and find the road to travel. I will review the snapshots in my mind and cherish the memories.
On the way home it dawned on me I needed to be at Mom's too. I remembered the road travel three years ago, tasting wedding cakes, spotting bald eagles and being cared for when I had the flu. My weekend was different but I was able to make new snapshots of memories. I was able to pray to continue to find my way because I'm listening to the whispers guiding me on my journey.
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