Treat Others As You Would Like to Be Treated!

I can't believe how some people just don't really get what life is all about. I'm tired of petty people who think it is okay to do whatever they want and say whatever they want to attempt to make themselves look good. Really what ever happened to treat others as you would like to be treated. I really try everyday to be that way. Smile, hold a hand, hug a friend. Really being nice is so much more fun then lying just to make yourself look good.  

If you can't tell my day sucked and before I say something else that really isn't nice I'm going to take my meds and head to bed. Really people if you look at the news and see others who have lost their lives, homes, pets stop and look at how your petty actions can have ramifications that go beyond making yourself look good! That bridge to the other side can come before you know it! I for one plan on making sure I get to reach Scott on the other side. 

After the day I've had I really wish it were today but I choose to keep going because something tells me I am working on making someone else's life way better because I do choose to treat others the way I want to be treated! To others though I just have to say grow up and be responsible. I don't always get my way and I'm certainly not going to throw a fit if I don't!! 

Please surround me with your light and love, guide me protect me and show me the way! I need it today just to keep going! 

Never A Day Without Thinking About Something or Someone!

‎"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." ~ (Unknown) 


This was a post as a FB friend's status a few minutes ago. I have several things like that. So instead of the moments when I say "I give up!" I should just keep knowing that I will make the things happen in my heart that I know are possible. I know what I need to be doing right now. I know that I need to focus on helping others.


Another friend keeps saying "you are where you are supposed to be." I have that feeling not just for myself but for one of my very dear Disney friends, Sid.  You see he moved to my hometown a few years ago for some great reasons but really not exactly the place most people move to if they have other choices. It is a small town in Southwest Missouri. The people have shown the rest of the world what it means to "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!"  My friend Sid has tirelessly worked with supervising and running at points in time from the moment the tornado struck with the American Red Cross. Sid was exactly where he was supposed to be! I can only hope to grow up to be a fraction of the person Sid has shown with his kindness, caring and generous spirit. I know I can't wait to see him again. He was very supportive when Scott died as he got to meet him along with several other of my Disney friends. I know that Sid deserves far more then the words I can praise him with as he continues to help the survivors live forward!


I keep thinking about so many things and I'm will continue to work toward the place those thoughts lead me. I'm not always selfless I do have my moments of selfishness but I wouldn't be human if I didn't. It is just that in this last year as life keeps happening I have learned that I have a purpose that is beyond my own imagination. I am where I am supposed to be but when you pray you also need to be willing to accept the responsibilities that come with prayer. You may be only thinking of yourself but when suddenly you  have thoughts that come from nowhere and won't leave you need to make the choice to act upon them! Make the world a better place!  I will make things happen because it is the right thing to do. I have a purpose that is beyond what even I understand but I will keep living forward. My life matters beyond my own bubble! I hope you look inside your soul and see that you too have the capacity to live beyond. We are not entitled to be handed the world. We each have the power to make a difference in someone else's day! Holding a hand, giving a hug or building a bridge for lives ravaged by a storm! It doesn't matter as long as we choose to "Love thy neighbor!" and make the world a better place!


So thank you to my FB friend and former classmate for making me see that the things I have been thinking about nonstop matter! I have the power to make them happen! I will make them happen and if I sneak in a selfish little something for myself that is okay too! I want to know that when I cross the bridge to the welcoming arms of God, Scott and so many others that have gone before me I have earned my place to be with them! Scott is in my daily thoughts and will continue to be for the rest of my life here on Earth. I can do what I can because I know he hasn't stopped loving me but it is okay to keep living forward!

A Challenge to Give!

Do you ever really take a good look at your life and think you are where you are supposed to be or do you think there is something you should be doing different? I have those moments but for the most part I think I'm where I am supposed to be. Now do I think there are people who should be in my life that aren't? Always but I'm not the one who gets to make that choice.

This last week I have added to the list of people from my childhood/teen years that I have connected with again. Sadly, it is all through the miracle of a tragedy. Yes you heard me correctly a tragedy can also be a miracle. The tragedy of the loss of lives who mattered to others but the miracle that more weren't lost. The tragedy of loss of homes and memories but the miracle of a community coming together with the help of an entire country to begin to rebuild. The miracle of the Joplin tornado is seen in so many photos and stories of the passion of the human heart and the strength we have in our souls. We spend so much of our time wrapped up in petty squabbles or working ourselves to the bone that we don't take the time to look around and appreciate the miracles we each are given by living another day.

For the last week my brain has been working overtime on how to help my hometown. How can I make a difference in a way that is personal. Yes I could log on and write a check to donate money. I know they will need lots of it but how can I make a difference that helps others learn how to make a difference too? How can I find my voice to teach kindness, compassion and caring. I don't want the recognition but I want to do something that comes from my heart that I will know will make a specific miracle happen in a life other then mine.

I know how far I have come and what I have to give is going to come from my soul and spirit. So today I have been working on an idea to reach out to my hometown with the resources I have in my reach. I will keep working and when I know we are to a point that I can share more information I will do that. In the meantime I look at my daughter and her friends for my idea. They have a beautiful life full of gifts. I was the same age once walking down the hallowed halls of Joplin High (or for those of us in those years, Parkwood) I can only image the depths those students feel losing homes and family members but to lose the security of your school too!

So I challenge everyone, not just Midway ISD, to make a difference to my hometown. It can be with your church, your checkbook, your schools, your work but give to the victims of all the tragedy with what comes from your soul/spirit. Make it personal for yourself to know you have helped another find a miracle in their lives! We have each been given another day find a reason to collect your day tomorrow! I challenge you to give because tomorrow it could be you or I! I want to know that my acts of kindness matter and make a miracle happen! You can work your bobo off in a job that may pay the bills but in the end what counts isn't how many hours you have spent on the phone or contacts you have made. What love do you have to give to another! Whose hand can you hold? You many not feel like it all the time (I know I don't) but someone does love you take a chance and spread the love!

A Party Day

A day of more emotions. I keep them so well intact most of the time but today we celebrated Laynie's 7th birthday and I could feel Scott with us. When I was trying to decide what we should give her for a gift I came across a Longhorns purse in the shape of cheer megaphone that says "Hook 'em Horns!" I got all teary eyed and I struggled to keep it all together. I miss them both so very much. I miss my life still. I don't think I will ever stop missing them but I do know how to live forward in each day. I can't change the past but I can embrace the future.

When I bought that purse I found myself be told to buy it. I can hear him at times telling me certain things to do and that was one of them. Today I know he was there because of Laynie. He will always be there for her. I still know in the deepest part of my being that he would never leave me but he most certainly would never leave her. Today was a mixture of the people who love a very special little girl and I know how very proud she is to call Hannah her sister. That will never change and as she grows up to be a beautiful smart little girl she will have us here waiting to share her Daddy with her.

I added to her scrapbook today. I struggle doing that task but I know in my heart it helps both her and I live forward with the memories of Scott in our hearts.  I still have yet to find a day without tears but I do know how to laugh and smile too. I know I have more to learn and love to give. I have jokes to share, smiles to give and who needs a big hug? I found a way today to comfort a friend who's life has been turned upside down in a tornado with the words that normal is gone but keep living forward and the new normal appears. I am a daily reminder to myself of those sage words even when I wish I could just hide under the covers.

Tomorrow is another day

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." 
— Audrey Hepburn

"...that understanding comes from love. You might believe that you need to understand another to love them. The truth is you need to love them to understand them." - a friend's message from God post for today.

What do you get when you cross a grumpy teenager and an exhausted Mom. Most people would say a fight! Not in this house you end up with a Friday night four hour sleepfest and eventually dinner at 9pm. This week has been crazy and busy but that was by my own choice so I won't be complaining. So now I sit on my spot on the couch watching old Hepburn/Tracy movies and wishing for a quieter time in life. There is so much going on in this world, the horrific images that have been around the globe this week just don't stop.

I will never fully understand the actions or responses of others but that doesn't mean I still don't love them. For instance, I have one friend that drives me completely batty and sometimes I just want to slap some sense into him but it doesn't work that way. His sense is his own so it is easier to keep loving my friend and not always try to understand. The same goes for all the rest of the world. I don't understand so many things but that hasn't stopped me from loving others. I may lose my patience but through this all I have learned to bite my tongue and just love. There are things I have been trying to do to help others but getting responses out of people is just nuts! I keep trying though and know I will make things happen for a place I care about and people I love.

I am who I am and I don't expect others to completely understand me just as I don't understand them. This morning I woke up from the worst nightmare I have ever had. I can't even type the details but it still floats around in my mind still after all these hours later. It doesn't do me any good to focus upon a dream that wasn't based in any fact but thoughts that I know to be false. I believe that love and laughter are the best medicine. I somehow have to keep being strong when all things feel as if they are going wrong. I will keep trying to smile and find happiness in each day. I keep trying to make others happy too because loving others keeps my feet planted firmly on the ground. Praying for others keeps me surrounded by light and love. I think somewhere in this world there will more happiness because miracles happen everyday. 

Dome of Angels

http://www.mercy.net/joplin/stories-of-mercy/45-seconds

Tonight I can only share the link above and ask that we all continue to pray for all the communities that have been ravaged by the storms!

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for a "Dome of Angels"
to protect Joplin from further tornadoes and that the Lord will use this opportunity to develop and strengthen the faith of the people there.

I can see Angels with swords facing outward to ward off the storms and protect the people."

This is a post from a friend on Facebook! It is all I have to offer tonight. But sometimes when you can do nothing but pray that is more powerful then we will ever know! Many prayers to my dear friends and family. You continue to be in my heart as I pray for you all to be surrounded by light and love as you live forward through this tragedy.

Blue Skies

"So often, we believe that we have come to a place that is void of hope and void of possibilities,only to find that it is the very hopelessness that allows us to hit bottom, give up our illusion of control, turn it over, and ask for help. Out of the ashes of our hopelessness comes the fire of our hope." -Anne Wilson Schaef

"At the bottom of the well, one can look up and see the sky." -Martha Whitmore Hicks

That hopelessness and despair has permeated more days for me then I care to remember. There are lots of days that I don't even remember. This is very odd coming from me. I remember all kinds of details. Scott used to laugh and say he was the big idea man and I was the detailer to make it happen. I've sat for more hours doing nothing. Staring at mind numbing television - House Hunters International and iCarly - but these days the TV rarely comes on and I face life head on. Most days.

My mind has been nonstop on my friends, family and my hometown these days. I sat this afternoon at my desk crying over learning of the loss of my elementary school and junior high! Now all I have is the memories.  A few years ago when we were in town we drove past them all with Hannah. We did the tour of my past. Scott wanted to do that tour with me but we never got the chance. It's been one of those things hanging out in my mind that I wanted to conquer but now I don't have to address the thought. When I return it will be all different and it will never be the place I was going to share with Scott. Our lives will forever be connected by that town that we shared at different spots in our life but never together.

I can look up now and see the blue of the sky. I can feel the sun on my face. I feel hope and the possibility of a future. I know how to live and I know how to love. I have friends from the past to give a helping hand just as I have been given so many hands to hold me. I know how to live outside of the darkness and despair. Living forward is a possibility with lots of prayer. My prayers allow me to treasure each day I have been given. They allow me to help others. I know that there are so many people in  my life who have "changed me for the good."  I know that it is up to me to take that and make it for the better, not just for myself but as many people I can reach. I know that I have a gift and it is up to me to share. It is up to me to keep living, smiling and loving. I am who I am today because I knew you! One of Scott's favorite songs to sing with Laynie was "Blue Skies" by Willie Nelson. I owe it to him and our love to keep looking for the Blue Skies of happiness!