Ice Cream Drive

“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; 
be kind anyway. 
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; 
succeed anyway. 
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; 
be honest and frank anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
do good anyway…
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa


I'm better today. Well maybe a bit of a lie in there too. I sat in my really dark grey office with not all the lights on this morning and the tears just poured down my face. Crying is an emotional need just as laughing. I texted my BFF from college, Crystal. She walked me through my moment with the promise of ice cream and a drive around the lake. I do believe I have found what I'm doing for my next trip. I have a bunch of people that would love to see that trip happen. Since I'm still not allowed to travel to any location and be completely alone. You see I do know I have people who love me and what the best things in life for me.


I still have a rollercoaster of emotions but I don't think that is ever going to change. I can, however, continue to ask for help and be open to the laughter. I can accept the people in my life who want to be here for me. Even the ones I don't think I deserve or the ones I don't realize how much they really care. I have to remember that I must face my life with kindness and honesty. There will be good days and bad days. There will always be someone in my life who wants me there, even if I don't recognize the signs. Sometimes, I'm just like a guy. You have to just spell it out for me because I'm so clueless. 


I think God and the other side are doing that right now as I sit here on the patio enjoying the beautiful evening. My Cardinal has returned and hopefully soon my Bluejay will be close by. The outside world has been a wet mess. The skies have cried with me over the last few days. It was like this two years ago so much rain. I always wonder how my life would be different if the pond hadn't been full. He would have survived. I would have found him but now here I am. Enjoying the flowers and songs of the birds. Seeing new life all around me. I get that some day soon right? I get my own new spring. I get to have that person who wants to call me first? Who wants me to know the silly things that happen in their day? Who likes to know that my voice makes them smile? I can survive this time of year. It will just keep coming. I have to have my ways to cope. I have to open my arms and my heart. It is the right thing to do!