Braver Than You Believe

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... 
there is something you must always remember. 
You are braver than you believe, 
stronger than you seem, 
and smarter than you think. 
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.”
― A.A. Milne


I'm so lost without him but I can hear his heartbeat when I sleep, I can feel his touch and see his smile. I'm lonely but I know what I'm supposed to do and be and achieve. I'm focusing on the hear and now. I'm trying to keep going and fly. He just wants me to learn and live. I'm getting there and I'm proud of myself for coming so far in the last months. I am not alone. I don't know what I would be doing without some very important people in my life. I just have to remember I'm braver then I know, stronger then I feel and smarter then I realize. 


I have moments that I have moments that are a struggle to hold it all together but I don't know if that will ever change. I have decided I'm going to try to be all out there. The one thing I want to do is achieve the things we set out to do together. I am making it my priority to live and love. I will conquer my fears and leap. It may not be from a plane physically but living life sure feels like it could be. 

Join me for the thrill of living life. Join me in capturing the moments of magic and love. I promise no matter the end result the experience will be worth it. I know that as I keep living and finding moments of silliness and laughter that living matters. I don't know how I feel or what I do to get out of bed most days but I just keep trying. I have to matter to someone out there. If I'm not around somebody will notice. Those are the words I say to myself. When Hannah isn't here it is harder because I don't know how long it would be if I didn't make a silly statement or send a funny text or email. I feel the need to be completely alone but I've such a goody goody that I don't want to worry anyone. 

So here we go. Let's make this life worth the journey. Let's keep the moments that matter alive and going. I have a list to conquer and I feel a strange need to get it done quickly. There is an urgency like in the tasks Scott had on his to do list that last month he was alive. I'm so grateful that we got to do so many things together. I have the memories to keep me going. There will be a day when all I will have will be my memories and I want to know I did the most I could do in the little time I have been given here in this part of my life! I want to share the love and laughter that Scott taught me how to experience. Magic! Bring It On!!!