New Habits

I find myself doing things at times I never would have done before. We all have little things we have picked up from other people but I now have habits that weren't ever mine. I, however, used to make fun of Scott for some of these things and I find myself doing them. Not because of anything I understand. I don't find comfort in them but it is like an intuition, a voice, a feeling asking me to do this. I'm sitting here right now doing one of them. I'm not paying attention but the TV is on the Baylor football game. I mean really I know he's heard of Angels in the End zone. We always talked about stuff like that so why am I sitting here with the game on the TV he can have front row seats. I think there really has to be something to the power of love and that bridge into the spirit world.

Ok so I know the difference would be our actual rear ends planted in seats in that stadium. I'm not really a fan of college football. I like high school and NFL but I don't watch the college stuff. I just don't know why I'm still sitting here with it on. The remote is right next to me but when I try to change it I hear, "I'm watching that!"  Okay I will leave it on. Now the other things I don't get are really strangely personal but seem to be an odd connection. I will just keep going, it's not even worth analyzing. There is so much that I don't understand in my life but I just take it as always one day at a time.

My day was a bit better. I know when I need a break. I know when I need a pick me up. Sometimes I don't understand how or when that will happen but it will usually arrive. I have the bestest people in my life. Even on the days when they unintentionally give me a grief moment. The same people then bring me out of it without ever knowing. Fate is an amazing part of life we don't get to understand. I think over the years I have learned the more you fight where you are supposed to be the more push you get to be where you are supposed to be. I think the only fight I have now is when I become overwhelmed with where fate has dumped me and I have to shut down for a bit. I try not to be angry. I have more tears then anything else but yesterday I think I would have punched someone really hard yesterday. I don't have those moments much but I did know it when it was happening.

Oh well I got over it. I made it through the anger and moved back into smiles. Now Baylor really needs the Angels in the End Zone not sitting here on my couch making me watch a college football game. This is a night I don't mind hanging out on the couch with my music and my book. I'm not so bored in a bit of me time. But I guess it is the season of bowls, college football bowls games that is. How do I know I'm such a silly mood now. I guess it is better then my angry mood last night. So here is my thought for the day:

Anyone can carry his burden, 
however hard, until nightfall. 
Anyone can do his work, 
however hard, for one day. 
Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, 
till the sun goes down.
And this is all life really means.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Night my friends. I love you all even in my crazy bipolar moments!