Heaven is for Real

Hannah got a gift for Confirmation of the book "Heaven is for Real." Tonight I have started and finished the book in about 4 hours with a few breaks in between. I have had a rough day. This morning the overwhelming sense of loss and why me. I spent of few minutes in self pity and asking God to help me through, to be surrounded by light and love. I know at one point I asked for proof that I was only in a nightmare and I was going to wake up and Scott would be grinning and using his little boy charm that I love. I guess I'm awake and working my way through the day.

I managed to make a meal for Mom, Bob and myself. It was nice and quiet and I enjoyed a time in the sun on the patio. Clean up was a breeze and the food was just want I was craving. I have a nice life. I try really hard  not to whine and complain but that piece will always be there. In the book I read today. The little boy is describing his trip to Heaven as his father tells the story to us. The Dad is a pastor but even this time answers many questions for him too. For me I found what I have been searching for in my spiritual journey. I've never lost my faith in all of these months but I have wondered how to know the prayers are heard. I know when Scott left us here on Earth. I know he won't be back in his human form but I also know the prayers I said were answered. We found him. Now I have new prayers and I know they are being answered. Maybe not as fast as I would like but they are there.

I know in my heart the words we say to God in our prayers don't need to be all flowing and wordy. We can ask for things in a simple form. It is okay to pray from our heart. It is okay to live life with the wonder and joy of childhood. We can fulfill our societal adult roles without losing our wonder and joy. It is okay to reach for God with simplicity. I know my prayers are being answered. I just have to continue to trust in the Lord's plan for my life is what I feel in my heart. I have to be willing to continue in my daily prayers and allow time to happen in it's own pace. My wishes aren't that very far away. My heart feels the answers. I know Scott will always give me to infinity and beyond. I know where I belong. I just have to trust the places I am headed are the rainbows of answers for my prayers. So now my heart is lighter then it was when I started out my day.