Today was quiet and relaxing. I didn't sleep all day and was up before noon. We didn't do much and I turned football on for all of 10 minutes but I tracked online Scott's Fantasy Team all day. We won the first match up of the season. It wasn't perfect and not a lot of scoring but we still have two players left to play. It was funny because a few times today I was trying to do other things (FRONTIERVILLE) and I felt like I was being nudged to check the scores.
I had the Cowboys game on for all of 10 minutes because I can't handle the excitement it was sending me into panic mode. Strange so I decided I didn't have to have the game on for my ghost because he could go stand on the field and watch if he wanted while I had the power of the remote.
I'm really amazed at myself today. I'm amazed that I am learning to control the panic triggers and walk away from them when they happen. I know sometimes I don't always have the control but I can and will continue to conquer what I am able to do. I have things I am working towards and goals I need to achieve but I use my mantra from Betsy - "Not today but someday!"
Today I conquered fantasy football. That is a huge event in our house. Lots of hours of time spent on this hobby. I enjoyed the bits I did participate in before but I could also let him have his hobby with his buddies. Now I'm there but I'm here because I love him to infinity and beyond and know his love will always be with me. Honoring his spirit with his friends is a great gift from me to him and I know he feels the love as he projects it back to us.
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