You sound familiar

Sad days that turn into silly days. I got up this morning and went to counseling. I don't like counseling at the first thing I do because I'm so very sad when I finish. This morning I dropped H off at school on my way to the office. Scott was at it again with the radio. I know this song. I love this song but I haven't heard it since his passing. A quick insert, it is very hard to say his death! The song was Mark Wills, "I Wish You Were Here" It is truly a ballad country song.

The storyline is a woman's husband leaves the house for work trip and is killed in a plane crash. After he is buried she gets a card that says, Wish you were here, There are people here we know, it's summer all the time, I can't wait until your here. I was crying sitting trying to get out of the high school traffic. Messages from Heaven surround me. I love him so very much. I can't wait to get there but it's not my time yet. I can't rush it along. I don't get to make that choice. I can't make that choice. I'm trying to not die with a broken heart. He is still here. I know a love that is so magical can't ever end. There really is an infinity an beyond for us.

Then tonight I passed along a bit of Scott to Hannah. I let her take the car up the driveway. I know, I know, he actually let her drive the truck on the back roads. I'm working up to it but I feel him egging me on to let her grow and become more of who she already is. An amazing wonderful daughter who is a beautiful young woman. Scott is just as proud of her as I am. He was here when I needed him. He was here when we needed to support of a dad in our life. He wanted nothing more in life then to be a father and loving husband. His life had so much meaning. I hope his legacy carries on beyond us and our little family into all the rest of the world he touched, his friends, students, and his extended family.

Today I got a phone call from someone looking for a therapist. She was local and kept saying "I know your name, I know who you are!" I didn't recognize her but I said my late husband was Scott. She instantly said "Oh that's how I know you. I'm the best friend of so and so who is related to ...." So once again there are bunches of people out there who know who I am because of the love of my life.