Binding Decisions

Every choice one makes either expands or contracts the area in which he can make and implement future decisions. When one makes a choice, he irrevocably binds himself to the consequences of that choice.
       - Marion G. Romney


We all have to make choices that make up each day. We all live with the consequences of those choices. The worst thing you can ever do is not make a choice. To sit in the land of fluctuation does nothing for anyone. I make a thousand decisions a day. I don't always make the best decisions but I do decide. It didn't take me long to decide to accept Scott. I may have at time doubted where we were headed but I never doubted that I made the right decision for me. The decisions we made together will forever be in my heart. The smallest choice to paint a bedroom to the life altering decision to be together have made me the stronger person I am today.


This morning I had trouble deciding to even brush my teeth and what to wear. Why does it matter. I don't have anyone to impress but somehow I liked how I ended up looking today. The funny thing is I didn't even try yet I got many complements today on my hair. I'm lucky it was even dry. I'm lucky I put on makeup. It is funny the things that just happen because of routines. I wonder sometimes if that is how relationships come into being.  It is just easy to be together so the decisions don't require many thoughts. The major decisions were never easy and sometimes the most trivial choice was hard. We had trouble deciding what to eat most days but falling in love was magic. 


It seems like a funny place to be hanging out trying to make decisions alone. I like to have someone to bounce ideas with. It makes it more fun and don't so scared about life. I'm scared but I'm trying. I just wish the thought of getting out of bed wasn't so stressful. I wish the thought of going to bed was easier. I need to find the right decision to make sleep a much easier part of my life. I have ideas but I'm afraid. I know I not the only one that can make some of these choices. I have made my wish but apparently the time isn't right. The time to make a change isn't right. I'm tired of hanging out in this slow motion zone but it seems to be where I'm supposed to be right now. Uggg! Deep breath, make a list and find a place to be. I'm ready to give up some parts but they just seem to stick with me. The thing is it is okay to make a decision and make a change. Just because you make a choice doesn't mean it can't be altered to fit better into a life that is full of magic and wonder


That choice may be right or wrong. It does stick with you. It becomes a learning experience that makes you stronger. If it fits in one moment that doesn't mean that you have to keep that choice forever. I always end up with my food choices as examples. Over the years I have many things I don't like but I always keep trying new things. I didn't used to eat baked potatoes at all. I now like them but only a certain way. That is a life altering decision for me because I'm such a picky eater. It did change me. Maybe not in the way that marriage and babies do but I am different. Each choice I make from the smallest choice has a consequence. 


I think about that everyday with Scott and his last day with me. I know the decisions he and I made that last day changed so many lives. I wish I could go back and make them different but I don't have that option. I can only make choices from here forward. I may choose to not date right now. Does that alter where my life is? Of course it does! I may choose to never date but I'm not making that decision right now. I could even change my mind and one day decide to eat cooked broccoli! That would changed my life. I may not notice all the changes my decisions make but I am effected each day just by the phone calls I make or what smile I share.