Steadfastness

Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
       - James 1:24


Each day brings you closer to the joy that is life. Each test I have been given makes me stronger but it is hard to tackle. There are some moments when I don't understand why I even try but I keep going. There are moments when I give it my all and it doesn't seem like it is enough. There are moments that feel like the finish line keeps getting further away or that pasta just keeps growing in the bowl. Some days it is like being slapped in the face for being who I am. I don't expect more from others then I'm willing to give myself. 


I am ready to push away from the table and walk away. To find a new place to be but God's plans don't match my own at the moment. I can't do for everyone else when I can barely take care of myself. Today was a rollercoaster and somehow it only became better when I had dinner with Hannah. There is nothing that solves a crisis like a talk with a smart teen and Mexican food. I will make it and it is time to try to sleep. It is time to face tomorrow with a smile and conviction to make it to my goals!