Disney Strength

Last year I was still in a fog. My smile was placed on my face with a great deal of effort and tears below the surface.  We have been friends for so long that the support is amazing and wonderful. Today was a different day for me. I have come so far. I have a smile that is genuine and my enthusiasm for my life is back without trying. I don't have to work at happiness. A trip down Main Street today was filled with love and laughter. I miss Scott very much. I can feel him with me every step of the way but it is support and love I feel walking around here.

I have lots of fun times and memories with Hannah, Mike and all my friends. This is a happy place for me over the last 17 years. You see Mike keeps teasing me because this week is the week we spent here at WDW for our honeymoon. There are so many places and times I don't forget but I'm not just hanging out describing every memory of my life. Nope I'm too busy making new memories.  Yes I still cried my way through the Haunted Mansion. I can't explain it but I just don't have the words that it just sends me into tears.  I also sat in the restaurant in Whispering Canyon looking straight out into the lobby of Wilderness Lodge with lots of time to think. I went internal and lost my place of where I was in the group. Another moment of "alone in the crowd" but it is okay.

Several times today it has been said, "You are where you are supposed to be!" Yes I know. I think my mind fills with Scott because we weren't done yet. I feel like he is here telling me he is still holding me close and not letting go. He promised and I know I will always be taken care of into my future. I'm here with new memories but I'm also afraid that I will never be able to come here without all of these overwhelming feelings hitting me. I know my life is forever altered but the fact that in this day alone I have been in the two of the three hotels Scott and I stayed together with a smile on my face means I am finding my strength in Disney. This is and will always be my happy place. I have been blessed in so many ways and I know I will continue to be. How can I not be surrounded by so many friends and people who love me warts and all!