God's Party

It seems like I sometimes don't know what to do with myself. Last night was football game time again. I love the games and the feelings of closeness with Scott. He loves his football. Today I went to work which was a good way to pass the hours with Hannah out at another band competition. I don't like hanging around the house alone. This week I have discovered something that you have all been waiting to hear. I'm a bit better. The trip to Walt Disney World helped so very much.

I still know I'm in steps further ahead then I was before. I spoke with Betsy on Friday to check on her. She walked me through all the early stages and I have experience that she needs now. Things happen in life that we don't understand the reason for things. Betsy and I were talking and she asked me if I was ready to decide to be a grief counselor. I'm too very close to the situation to answer that question.

I just keep thinking and thinking. I guess it is what I do best until I can work out a problem or issue. I want to help so I can now just be the friend she has been to me. The answer to the situation is once again - love unconditionally! That is my place in life. Yesterday one of my patients said to me, "You have such a beautiful smile. Do you know how you brighten my day?" I got tears in my eyes. Scott was always telling me that my smile lured him in to love unconditionally.

Now this party in Heaven is doing something to us all. It is our responsibility to use it for a positive outlook even at our darkest hours. Platitudes don't work. Telling someone how strong or brave they are, how their loved one is in a better place, or they are well. We know these things but it isn't comforting. Be there with a hand to hold and the I love you. Be there when the others go back to their own lives. Be there with a laugh or a shoulder to cry on. Nothing makes it easy to journey through. It can't be ignored or brushed under the carpet. The loss of someone you love must be faced no matter the age or cause of death. We have to continue living until it is our time and the only way to do that is with the power of love from those who remain behind and the most powerful love of all from those that precede us into the arms of God.