Movie Ad Day

I was so very worn out today. I tried to sleep in but somehow Fantasy football required my attention. I love Scott's friends, they are such great guys but on Sunday morning I'm going to be sleeping in. Not today but it's ok. Hannah and I laid around watching old movies. I didn't turn on the TV for football games. I know my limits still and I push them when I feel like I can handle it but I also back off when I can't.

This afternoon we both took naps. In my dreams I got another visit from Scott. I love those times we get to spend a bit together. They aren't like my normal dreams where I do crazy things. These visit dreams are very vivid, detail oriented and I can feel him. Today he held my hand, told me we are still together, he wants me to be happy and he will be by my side making that happen. How can you not believe those things?

I just saw and ad for a new movie with Matt Damon called Hereafter. Interesting I may have to see that one. The next commercial was for the very last movie Scott and I saw together. We took Laynie to see How to Train Your Dragon while Hannah went with her friends to something else. I still have the ticket stubs. I just have so very many memories that will never go anywhere. I am also capable of making new memories and I proved it myself and my heart in Disney last week.

I am learning how to live without Scott's physical presence. Walking around the house looking at the pictures and the memories that pop up. One of my new patients told me how she lost her husband and she still talks to him and feels him around. I know I'm not alone in my world. I know I will find happiness and I know that Scott wants me to find my place. Each day brings me closer to someday.