Happy Anniversary

Yes tomorrow is a day of irony. 16 years ago Mike and I married in a beautiful ceremony with all of our friends and family surrounding us. Then flash foward to last year and the paperwork that Scott signed naming me as his wife is dated. The paperwork that was the formal proof that yes indeed he considered me his wife. I'm so sorry that we didn't get to live our lives to the full length that everyone else gets.

I spent the end of the day doing something Scott wanted setup months ago. I did the financial planning to the best of my ability with the help of someone Scott trusted. The person he ran into in the grocery store and gushed about us. I can see my excited man looking like a little boy talking about the future. I love hearing others tell of how he talked about us. It isn't fair but I don't get to complain because there are people with a whole lot worse things that happen.

I get to see the joy in his face as we joined our cell phone plans together on Oct 15, 2008. The joy of saying yes she is my wife as he signs the paperwork for our insurance policy. The excitement when he asks Betsy to tell him the specifics of doing a formal wedding ceremony and she tells him do you take her and he says yes. She then tells him that's all it takes you are married.

Why is it that Oct 15 gets so much power in my life. It hasn't been on purpose. It is the irony of the situation. Tomorrow I will spend the evening of my anniversary with Mike and his wife at the football game. Where Scott wanted to be. Where he will be sitting in that empty seat next to me. I planned for the finacial futures of Hannah and Laynie today. I set up accounts for them to have money for college or weddings or whatever else happens that they need to be taken care of in the future. The way Scott planned it to be. I can't erase Oct 15 but I can celebrate all of the memories. I can still celebrate my marriage to Mike because it gave us Hannah. I can celebrate the time Scott and I had in human form and know that someday we get our castle filled with love to infinity and beyond.