Riverbend

Wow what a day. Busy, busy, busy doesn't begin to describe my day. Visitors at work today from corporate - nothing bad. The hardest part was this am one of my coworkers passed away. She had a mild heart attack last week, was back at work but this morning she was gone. I can't even begin to tell you how I feel like the grim reaper and I'm not the one who has any say in the matter. I wish I did but well Scott had a saying for wishes that I can't repeat.

I have to say the emotions of death are so overwhelming as it continues to happen to so many wonderful people that I'm numb again. I feel so callous because of the numbness but if I open up to all of the emotions I would be in a straight-jacket and that doesn't help anyone.

I got through the day. There are so many people effected these days. I'm not alone but the message for all this death around me isn't so clear. I need step by step instructions on life these days but it's okay if I flounder some more. I'm still taking baby steps. I'm at least past the only goal of getting out of bed each day. That has to count for something. Please tell me that is a huge step!

Tonight Hannah and I went to eat dinner at my friend Lisa's home. Her two little girls are so attached to Hannah. It is so funny to see the youngest being the age Hannah was when Lisa and I met. They grow so fast. I'm so very lucky to have such amazing people in my life. Supporting me when I need it most but letting me explore what works for me to make the steps to survive. One day I will do more then just survive. I will find a way to the strong person Scott told me I am and all of you keep telling me I am. This is my personal journey, my personal story. Each of us have steps to take. I continue to take mine just with no idea what is around the riverbend.