Cowboy Stadium Magic

I think about things I want to write all the time but somehow it all doesn't make it to my fingers and onto the keyboard. I just have to say that this football roadshow has been amazing and worth every late night and tired morning. I love to see my daughter having the time of her life. When I was her age my High School WON the MO State Football Championship. It was a memory to always have. Some of my Facebook friends are part of those amazing memories. I just want Hannah's journey to be a bit different then how mine has turned out. This fork in the road was not so great. The people I have supporting me are fantastic though. It has it's ups and downs and well maybe not what I expected but I'm trying to keep the glass half full.

Last night was just a part of my own journey. It started when I was able to embrace something that I know Scott would have been a little kid in a candy store over. Each game has shown me a way to life beyond what we all see now. I am open to that. I'm not afraid and I embrace the possibilities. When my expiration date arrives I will be ready to join the giant hug and huge kiss I know will be waiting for me. Right now I take the energy that I feel surrounding me. Sometimes when I ask for it but most often when I least expect it.

On the drive we talked about how Scott would have been unable to sit still in the truck, that we wouldn't have been there fast enough and we would have walked the entire stadium with the camera snapping all the way. He got his wish last night. We got to see something that is beyond words for a little community with a giant heart. I loved seeing what a great coach can do for a little team with heart. Scott would talk endlessly, if I let him, about coaching and football and what he would do. Last night I saw a coach who has repeatedly shown that running up the score with all your strong first stringers isn't the way to go. He showed how it matters all the way down to the little bitty freshman that got to play on the field! Scott is cheering and sometimes I think running down there on the field. You know like the "Angels in the Outfield" movies.

Today I was tired and worn out but we made it. I'm home with myself and my warm loving angel. I do talk to him all the time. I know he's here most of the time. He is here to do what he promised to infinity and beyond. He is here to help me learn to live a life that doesn't include his physical presence. I know I'm not alone in missing him because I talked to one of the teacher's he worked with tonight when I stopped to do an errand. He touched so many lives and loved so many people but I know our souls were meant to be together. Words just can't change that feeling I had before he died. Years before - we just knew. So I continue my journey and learn how to take a new step each day. Tonight I'm stuck on the couch enjoying my favorite mental break show - House Hunters! Maybe sometime soon I should find my snuggling comforters and pillows to get some sleep!