Snoring Alarm Clock

See you never know what will happen in life! In the middle of the night I woke myself up snoring with this stupid head cold and thought it was Scott. That was a heartbreaking way to wake up. It's funny the things you miss after someone is gone. The little things that drove you nuts that you would gladly take just to have that person back. My life has a lot different meaning then it did before. It's not about changing people around us. If we really care about them we take them warts and all. I love Scott warts and all. I know he loves me the same way. He told me all the time. I was such a lucky girl.

I have my little prayer that I say every morning sitting in the floor of the shower with some quiet grief meditation time. I ask for the strength to get through the day and to know Scott still surrounds me with his love and laughter. As I'm driving to work hoping the am wakeup call isn't a way the day will follow suddenly LeAnn Rimes singing "Unchained Melody." The tears flowed down my face but I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably just that I felt Scott's arms around me, like in Ghost. There were three more songs in a row as I made my way to work.

I've had a corporate compliance auditor in my office the last two days who is very nice. We took her out to lunch for burgers at my favorite place to eat - where I get a hug from the guys at the grill and a promise that if I need anything to call them! I love the guys at Dubl-R! The biggest achievement for me today was to tell a person who didn't know the story the entire story without a tear. That is a milestone for me. I have yet to make it a day without tears but I made a LARGE giant leap today. I'm learning my new normal. I don't like it but I'm learning.

Now I can do without my own snoring. Scott was bad enough! Why do I have to wake myself up?