My Buzz

This morning I had a bad wake up feeling like the world should just be gone and I should be in Scott's arms once again. I did the right thing - I reached out to a friend who got me laughing. That friend shall remain nameless but needless to say our common bonds are great and laughter was therapeutic. Oh and we decided our daughters think we are old and embarrassing. I just so miss being loved. I know many love me but it isn't the same and you all know it!

Saturday I took myself to ye old Wally World for carpet cleaner. For once in seven months I came out with more then I went in for. Shopping progress. I bought Toy Story 3 and also these cute little 2.5 inch plastic Buzz and Woody figurines. My little shrine to Scott is growing but it is still very portable - it goes where I go when I travel!

Our housekeeper had rescheduled for today. She is the wonderful caring woman who Scott hired. I need her in my life because without her I wouldn't have a reason to do things like sort the mail. I just walked into our bedroom and sat down on the bed. I looked over and my sweet lady had posed my Buzz by the index card that sits by Scott's picture in which he had written "I LOVE YOU." His outstretched arms were pointing to those precious words. How did she know I needed that gesture today. She is amazing. She even puts my Scott pillows back just as I like them on his side of the bed covered in his t-shirt.

These little things help me sleep and get me through the day when I struggle to get going. I feel Scott laughing at me today as I struggle to talk on my yearly loss of voice. I can see him grinning at me but taking care of me. I called Mike to ask him to pick up Hannah and I got a taste of what Scott would be doing. He laughed at me. Mike never laughs at me when I lose my voice. He must be channeling Scott.

Another day bites the dust but my Buzz is loving me to infinity and beyond.