Craving Chocolate

I'm sick and feel like death warmed over. I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't mind it being my expiration date but to clear your conscience I will tell you I won't do anything to hasten that experience. I promised to many people and I'm told there are too many people who need me.

I went to work yesterday and overdid the job because my office was moved to a new space and being sick is not a time to move furniture and files. This morning I woke up with a fever and was ready to throw in the towel. I stayed in bed and finally the fever broke and I made it to the couch. I laid on the couch from late afternoon bundled in four or five blankets, resting. I watched one of my favorite past times on Netflix -- BBC dramas made from novels. My choice was Jane Eyre. I know love like that. I wish I was able to take our love into the pages of a book for others to feel the power. We didn't get to live happily ever after but I didn't say our love was a Disney movie. Lord knows we tried.

I eventually made it to the shower and clean jammies for our favorite Thursday night television lineup. I also am watching the Fantasy Football team on the computer. I'm not tasting much of anything and have been sticking to the tea, toast and soup food groups but now I'm craving chocolate. I asked Hannah to bake some cookies from the freezer but she won't. I have two giant bunnies of my favorite chocolate, Ferror Roche, sitting in my room. I look at them and know he gave them to me on Sunday as his last gift to me. I can't bring myself to eat them but that was why he gave them to me. I know he is laughing at me telling me to open them. I hear him telling me to at least eat the chocolate but you can save the bunny plastic shapes.

I think maybe it might be better to wait to eat them until I can actually taste the wonderful chocolate. He loves me. That gift will never spoil or rot. He made my heart larger with something that I can't find the words to describe. He wants me to keep living and not wish my life away or sit watching life go by. There will be better in my world someday. Right now I'll take getting rid of this cough and sounding like a frog. It's okay! I love you!