I'm so ready to stop. Tonight is not good. I guess I head to bed and hope that sleep happens because well I just done with my life for the moment. I need to find a place that is slient and I can be completely alone. I worked today but I think I just need to hide from the holidays and life in general for the next 6 weeks. I not faking it well andymore or at least not tonight.
Tonight I'm silent as I try to find my center again and know that some people are disappointing when I need all the help I can get and make it to where I need to be. But somehow I'm will just cruise this week with the pain that is deep in my heart.
I can't make the tears stop. I hate these times when I backslide. I try but I hate being disappointed when I need support the most in the worst way through the (cursing) holidays. I just want my life back. I want my life back and it's not happening. I don't like it and I never will. I was happy and now I'm not. Don't worry I'll be fine once I sleep and once I figure out how to take care of myself and get to the football game on Friday. Because a selfish person can only think about their own needs. I will be okay. I will be okay. Maybe if I say it enough I will really be okay.
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