No Boundries

I'm trying everyday I try really hard to step out and forward. I do my darnedest to get to a point that makes Scott happy. That I know how to honor his wishes for life. I do know because we shared so many happy moments in life. I know he doesn't want me to wallow because he shared always made me promise that if he went first I would do my best to live. I'm trying. I don't always like it but I'm trying.

I know Scott lives in love. His love for life was just so very apparent to those who knew him he would want nothing less for those of us who are left here. I'm sitting here watching Ghost Adventures and they are touring a haunted nursing home! I just flipped the channels and it was on. That is so very funny to me because we talked about that all the time after working in Nursing Homes together. We had some "unexplained" things happen at Crestview in the therapy gym on more then one occasion. I know how much he believed in afterlife and the possibilities. Yes it makes loving to infinity and beyond possible.

Now I'm working on getting through this holiday one day at a time. I'm not looking forward beyond one day at a time. I have another Friday Night Lights to enjoy on Friday at 1pm in Cowboy Stadium. It is beyond important for me to make it to this game. I know without a doubt he is there. I feel like it is Angels in the Endzone! He would really do that so I will honor that! The Midway Panthers are awesome! We Will Win!!! WITH PRIDE!!! I will be at that game and cheering with all my heart.

One holiday at a time I will make each step and I will know what to do when it is time! There are tons of things I need to do but I don't know push myself out of the comfort zone into panic attacks. I know what I need to make it. I know all of the things that were important to us. Loving each other is Magical. He gave me a love beyond words. He knew what he wanted out of life and he wasn't afraid to make it all happen. Together we achieved a dream. I will keep trying to live but the sadness will always be close at hand. A love like ours knows no boundaries.