Actions to Happiness

"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action."
       - Benjamin Disraeli




Oh how so true. Sitting waiting for things to happen that make you happy... Wow! Wouldn't it be nice if your life were so easy that everything you ever wanted was handed to you on a silver platter. I think that would be rather sad and lonely. How would you cultivate true relationships and feel accomplishment about the people and things in your life. 


I know I have found happiness in bits and pieces because I haven't just hidden myself away in the pain, loneliness and sadness. I'm here with actions to live forward. I like that the one thing I figured out so early on was that I was the only one who could make the action happen to find happiness.  There are so many pieces that I have collected to this puzzle that fell apart in my hands. So many times I have wanted to die. I wanted to be in the pond and just stop trying. My actions have been to fight those feelings. I have to work very hard at the actions that lead me to happiness. 


Even still after walking so many days and miles I still have to fight those feelings of giving up. I work each day to make myself get out of the bed and into the shower. I know if I have conquered the shower I can make it through the rest of the day. I know I have found so many moments of happiness but this battle will never be over. My life is never going to stop being a battle for the happiness. I want that happiness. I love knowing that it is possible to keep trying. I'm never going to say that any of these steps have been easy. I have tons of support that make me know it is possible to keep going. I have my prayers and my support from God and my Angel. He will be here with me forever. I will just keep my actions headed toward happiness. It's not a guarantee but I keep trying. That is all I can do because giving up is not where I am supposed to be.