Egyptian Proverb

Friendship doubles joy and halves grief.
       - Egyptian Proverb


I can vouch for this! I think the best thing that has ever happened to me since Scott's death has been my friendships. Old most definitely but the best of the things lately has been the blessings of new friendships. I feel like that makes my life full of sunshine. I have some great relationships. It is even better to make them stronger and making new ones. I discovered the other day on a very bad day that I am blessed. I'm still a lot crazy and nuts. I think to much and I get stuck inside my own head way more then people can ever know but I have been surrounded by light and love. 


I don't know if I will still be stuck in memories or if I will ever be able to pack up a closest, sort through a storage shed or stop finding things tucked in my kitchen cabinets that I didn't know were there. It is okay for the moment. I'm the only one who seems to put timelines on myself. Sometimes there may be a rare person that is clueless but certainly not among the people in my life that I love. I had my fairytale. I may not have gotten the forever after happy ending but really do we ever know the end of fairytales? How do we know that Cinderella and Prince Charming did have more wicked stepsister moments? 


I find it funny because I feel like I'm writing the other side of the fairytale. What really happens! I have patients that have been married for 60 years. They were found sharing a bed one night. I love it! Scott and I swore that would have been us. We always had planned on shocking the nurses. I don't give up that hope that I may someday find that person but right now the best place for me to be is with my friends. I know I'm capable of feeling love again because it does happen. I have new friends that I have added to the mix. I know there will only be one Scott. Maybe I will someday realize I can take the next step but that seems like the distance for now. 


I still have hope for that kind of happiness but I know my joy continues to be doubled. Just like on Thursday when I could learn that those moments of unexpected memories and conversations with a ghost can be moved from pain. It just is a matter of reprogramming my brain a bit and accepting the support of my fantastic friends! Thank you for helping me deal with my grief and giving me joy!