–Henry David Thoreau
Who doesn't want to have the life they have imagined. I still have pieces of a life I have imagined. I miss the big chuck of who I was supposed to share that life with. It doesn't mean I have to stop having the dream. I've tried but it just doesn't work for me to stop with the dreams Scott and I shared. He promised and I believe I will still get those dreams. I'm trying to focus upon those dreams. I can't believe the things that have happened that only Scott and I knew about. I know he is still here. Scott never broke his promises to me. Sometimes it took him a while but he never broke a promise. I can only think that his last promise of "It's okay. I love you!" will be kept.
I still have some wonderful dreams to make happen. I still have a faith that keeps my beliefs and dreams going. I know I'm not perfect but I don't want to be perfect. I know I have a purpose for still being in this place. I still have my own personal demons to fight. That doesn't mean I've given up on those dreams. I will know that Scott will always be here with me in moments of sadness, joy, triumph, and defeat. I can't win every battle but I will continue to take each moment, minute, hour and day by living forward.
My life continues to have wonderful unexpected successes in very unusual places. I can only know that Scott knew all my hopes, dreams and fears. He will keep me surprised just as always before. I know with all my heart that love has no bridges, boundaries or hurdles. It just happens and there is not an on/off switch. If you are ever so lucky to find a relationship with that kind of emotion let it happen! Life is just to short not to have that kind of joy! I know!
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