Invisible Sun

"There has to be an invisible sun (oh oh) 
It gives its heat to everyone 
It has to be an invisible sun (oh oh) 
That gives us hope when the whole day's done" - Invisible Sun lyrics


Funny how you hear a bit of something and you have to know what it says. I heard this song last week but I couldn't just use my Shazam app to find out what it was so I did the next best thing. I borrowed the CD from my friend who was playing it and loaded it into my iTunes. Yes music is most definitely a gift from Angels even if it is only a part of a song that pulls together for you. I have hope. Some days I forget to do that but I try to have hope.


Eventually there will be a time when the sun will shine with even more hope on my life. I know I'm not alone and there are things I need to hear. Even if I don't understand why or don't always get what I'm supposed to hear. Sometimes I just need someone to look at me and shake me. I get stuck sometimes in my own sadness and loss. I enjoy the moments I get to have smiles and laughter. Crazy conversations with friends that talk in circles and can pick up just where we left off. I am blessed with lots of invisible sunshine moments. I just have to take my sunglasses off at night to see the light. 


I'm getting it. I have so many moments of joy, laughter and smiles. I like my moments and it is up to me to use those moments of sunshine to live forward when I don't feel like it is good to keep going. I have blessed with amazing people in my life. Loosing Scott broke my heart into a million pieces. I know it will never fit back into the right places but I am where I am supposed to be. I was supposed to love Scott. We were supposed to share that part of our lives but I learned so much and continue to learn about myself each day. 


I wish I could explain to so many people what each moment they have given me to keep going. I love the people that bring me invisible sunshine of hope to keep going at the end of the day when I have to go to bed and face my personal demons that I struggle to battle. I keep trying but one day I would love to be able to curl up into bed and sleep without the meds. I wish I could just stop the images and thoughts that float into my head but I'm working on making them less powerful. I've come so far in that battle. Today I am where I am supposed to be in my journey of living forward. I see hope in the eyes of my friends who give me the invisible sunshine everyday!