The Future

I don't even know where to begin after so long. I have to say that this was a trip of a lifetime! BUT!!! yes that was a large one! There were people I missed being gone for so long. I have just been sorting through pictures this evening and I realized there were photos I took for specific people in mind when I took them. Now I just hope those people recognize the ones that were for them.

I think this is a huge step for me during this trip. I know Scott is always with me but for me to recognize the importance of the connections of the people and relationships with the living is very big. I think I have made huge strides in the last 12 days. Now if I can keep that up I am where I am supposed to be in this moment in time. It is funny because today I was talking to a friend about the trip and was specifically asked what I did on my birthday. I have to say I freely admit that I hid for most of the day. My  Mom found me and Hannah found me but I was able to find nooks and crannies on the ship to sit, read and look at the miles of vistas passing by. I also took a nice nap and after dinner spoiled myself with a massage and facial.

This trip wasn't meant to cure me of what I still feel but it did help me heal a lot more. I can say my life is getting easier. I am making more steps and in a place I'd never thought I'd be. I am living life with Scott tucked in my heart for always but I can keep going. I can keep growing. The sadness is much less and my heart feels joy and promise. I know there is more in my future and I will keep growing. I wasn't able to blog each day because service was spotty and expensive on the ship. I do think I will go back to Alaska. There is more to see. I said I believe I have found the place I should be. People think I'm kidding but I fell in love with Ketchikan, Alaska! I may just have to visit and like our guide still be there "visiting" 15 years later! Who knows time will tell me when I am in the place I am supposed to be!

Now back to sorting through the 2000+ pictures and find the perfect way to make them shine in our scrapbook. Maybe someday I will catch up! Hmm sounds like a great project for a snowy Alaskan day sometime in the future! Who knows!