Homecoming Date

"One joy scatters a hundred griefs." 
       - Chinese Proverb


Today started out really bad. I woke up from a nightmare. I was sweating and trembling as I was coming awake. As I came awake I saw Scott clearly. That sent me into tears because I needed him and he was there. I could feel the pain from the dream but I knew he was there. I'm not sure if I make sense but he was here. He has been here all day.  We had a bunch of chores to do today. I hate getting up on Saturday morning before noon but here I was. Up and attem cleaning away then to Wal-mart all before noon. 


As we were walking through Wal-mart the music was doing it's thing. I knew he was still there. We stopped in the light bulb aisle because they need replacing all over the house and it was a chore Scott used to do. As we came out of the aisle I hear this loud pop. I look down and one of the packages of light bulbs from the cart has jumped ship. There was no way for it to hit the floor it was in there secure. The others hadn't moved. He had to be there because then the I hear the music "Heaven Isn't Too Far Away!" Hannah wandered off to pick up something she had to have as I slowly made my way to the front of the store. 


She took a bit and the song changed to "Amazed!" Do you know how much it took me to not stand there with tears rolling down my face. I kept it together barely. He was there. He was ready to have some fun! Hannah and I talked about it briefly but we kept going. We had a party to get going. We booked it around the house trying to get it all done. I went into Hannah's room and changed one of the bulbs. It was working just fine. I performed a Scott chore! Hannah then yells at me to come change the bulb. I had done it but it flickered and popped when she walked into her room. Why did I feel like he was there! The teens were just as excited because some of them showed up an hour early. I put them to work vacuuming! I don't know why I did but that's another story about my OCD. You'd think I was getting a Marine inspection. 


He was there still. Most of the kids avoided Scott's bathroom but one of them did and suddenly there was that noise that the bathroom makes when someone is using it that Scott doesn't know or is upset with. You think I'm crazy but you hang out with me long enough things happen that you can't explain. I could feel him here all day with the kids. This is exactly what he dreamed of for our life with the girls. He would have been picking and laughing and teasing. I think he might have even picked up a glue gun and pitched in. 


My parents won't be at the Homecoming game Friday night. I keep thinking I won't have my dates with me but then all this happens today and I know Scott will be there. How could he not. Two of his loves together, me and football. I may have two extra tickets though. Too bad I don't have anyone I could convince to go with me. Someday! I'm surviving my life because I love being Hannah's Mom. I had so much fun today and last night. Watching the kids dancing in the rain. I'm glad I know that it is all the small moments of memories that make it so much easier to keep living. I'm glad I recognize the moments that I know Heaven isn't really that far away. I will get my wish someday. I will have a date for homecoming and someday I may have a date that isn't a ghost! But he is my ghost.