Impossible Becoming Possible

"It is love that makes the impossible possible."
       - Indian Proverb 


I certainly hope so! To change rules and just go for it. Doesn't that make something that seems impossible possible. I'm ready to keep changing the rules to make love possible again. To walk across the line and make something I still think is in impossible possible. I'm here in my life still living. I've still have moments where I think that is impossible but it seems like it has become possible. 


My life has been a jumble of horrible events and happy loving moments. I know I'm not the only one. Many people struggle with the events of life. We all have faced tragedy in some form. It is an impossible task to keep going yet we have all survived. I know where I was ten years ago. I watched the television just like everyone else but it seemed so surreal. The day I sat on the patio knowing Scott was missing was the feeling those families had. The moment I sat on the dirt road watching his truck be pulled from the pond was the same feeling. I still have panic attacks but I'm living. I still have doubts about achieving the impossible. 


I want a life. I want my life to be more. I want to be loved and held. I want to give my love to another. Scott will always have my love but  it isn't the same. It is impossible to feel comfort from the ghost in my house when I need to be held and touched. Today I have tried to ignore the memories of 9/11. I feel the trauma of that day in a larger magnitude. It brings back more then watching the Towers being hit. It brings back all my trauma of losing Scott. I need to do the impossible. I need to make it possible. I need love to be possible again. I need the rules to change and take that leap into the impossible.