It's just stuck!

"Hurting goes away. Love Never! Loving is the greatest gift the good Lord gave us. Don't waste it, not for a moment!" - Castoffs episode of Little House on the Prairie''

I seem to be getting or picking up on this message of love these days. I don't know why. It's not like I'm doing anything different then I do. I've seen this episode of Little House before first run (makes me feel old to say that) and then I'm sure in my darling daughter's obsessive watching of television programs over and over I've seen it again since she owns most of the series. It just struck me as strange when this message keeps being sent. It's not like I'm going to forget it but there must be something I need to keep learning or something I'm supposed to say to help someone else learn. I don't know most of the time I just feel like a messenger as I type. The words come from somewhere other then my head. They just flow out through my fingers and onto the screen.

I've never had a plan each night of what to say. I just have something that has stuck with me or popped out as the message for the day. For the last two days I've been singing the song "Are you gonna kiss me or not" by Thompson Square. It is STUCK and driving me nuts. I can only think of one other thing that is stuck worse then this song and sadly even the song won't over ride it! I won't go into details but let's just say I'm okay because it makes me smile. The songs and jokes are far better then the images I've had to work out of my head so I know I can't complain.

There are moments when I really get upset not because I can't have my life the way I want. I get upset at people that take life for granted, gripe and complain over all kinds of stuff. Today, I know I made the day of someone else because I smiled and people smiled back. I solved problems and forgot about my own. The only thing I need to be careful about is forgetting to do the important things for myself like eat. I didn't notice until after 4 that I needed to eat. So I stopped and got my solitary take out. I'm not complaining because I came home with a smile. I know I'm not alone. I know I have friends who watch out for me even from a distance. I'm at peace floating in the pool reading my book. Now my gardener guy needs to come on with removing my dead palm trees though. I can see in the growth from last year where Scott cut them off and they grew last summer. I do wish now they had lived but I think at one point I prayed that they went away. The old adage must be true! "Be careful what you wish for, it may come true!"

Right now I know what I am wishing for and surprisingly it would shock many of you to know that it doesn't have to do with Scott. I know I can't wish him back but I can make wishes for my future. I continue my daily prayer and each day I know that one comes true. I feel wrapped in a bubble of light and love. I know I survive because I make a difference each day to someone else even if it is just in my smile!