Love is Sacred

"Love without marriage is still a sacred thing and unlike wedlock it is not dissolved by death." BBC movie Cranford


Well I guess it is almost officially summertime. Hannah leaves on Thursday. We get a week together in the middle of the summer on our cruise and I'm so excited about that! I dread being alone though the rest of the time. I will make it though just like I survived last night after a really bad day.  Today was better for my attitude after being slammed yesterday. I think I will make it this summer because it is honestly the only choice I have. Just when I think I have finished most of the firsts I can do I realized that I will be left alone most of the summer. Last summer I was very sheltered and protected. I do believe I will be missing that feeling. Who knows maybe I can try something I've never done before. 


I think though I will be catching up on my Netflix library. That is exactly what I've been doing this evening after a busy crazy day. I may have to move spots on the couch so I don't wear it out. I have a huge variety in my movie tastes. Tonight it was "Return to Cranford"! Hannah and Scott used to laugh at my BBC movies when I was watching but then get sucked in and anxiously await the next segment to arrive in the mail.  I'm not one who just sits and watches (except in deep depression). I'm always doing something else too. So this quote really caught me by surprise and interrupted all other thoughts I was having. 


It is very true. It wouldn't have mattered if we had ever said the formal "I do's" because the love we share can't be removed by death. That love we share doesn't mean that I'm incapable of loving another though. Like I have said before Scott's place in my heart is his. I still miss him everyday but I also have found that smiling and flirting with someone else doesn't change the love I have with Scott. I have this one patient who keeps trying to marry me off. Twice now he has asked me if the gentleman I was with (different visitors to the facility each time) if that was my husband. When I say no, my husband died in a car accident he tells me "that's to bad you need to be married. You need to be loved."  It is cute but I know with all my heart that marriage isn't the answer to love. 


Love happens when you least expect it. That is a good thing. I may be afraid to step off into the love but I know that seems to be a problem with so many others. I can honestly tell you that I find those moments of happiness are lurking off to the side. Someday I may be brave enough to grab for it again when I least expect it! I'm also great with knowing that Love isn't dissolved with death! Not just the love of my other half but all kinds of love! My Dad, Grams, Aunts, all those who have crossed the bridge I still have the love for them that I know they share with me. It's ok! I love you! Yes so very true!