What Might Have Been!

So how does one stop yourself from playing the "what might have been" game? It is time once again for an anniversary of a beautiful marriage celebration. There is a Little Texas song that plays called "What Might Have Been." When Mike and I first started dating that song played ALL the time. He used to accuse me of thinking about a different life with the guy I dated in college when that song played. It wasn't true and even today when we hear the song we start laughing. It plays a lot if we are in talking on the phone while I'm in the car. Today it would be true. I do think of what might have been but with Scott.

This weekend we should be doing so many other things. I know that is daily and for the most part I do really well at not going there but I keep wandering how we would be celebrating our first anniversary together, I think it is only natural but what makes it worse is knowing so many people getting married this weekend. It's a good thing I'm not attending but focusing on something positive that IS in my life right now. The part of my life that is a positive because of this weekend -Hannah!

How did I get there? Well you see My marriage to Scott was to take place on the date Mike and I met. Happy accident. Scott never knew. He picked our wedding date because of our birthdays and it was good with me because it made a day ours. So 18 years ago this weekend I met the father of my daughter. I am very grateful for this day because it is a celebration of life and love for Scott and I but also for the life of Hannah. I don't think I want to play the "what might have been game" ever again for this weekend! I want to celebrate LOVE! It will always be a twinge of tears but the magic can never be diminished as I see Hannah's face or think about Faulkenstein Castle and a trip to Minnesota where I did get to say "I Do!" I do choose to keep living.

Thank you my friends for getting me through the worst weekend of my life last year. I wont be alone all weekend because my true love comes home tomorrow and we embark on a trip that will make Scott proud that I have the strength to keep living forward. I can make it until Tuesday! I will make it and I will see the true majestic power of God! He will never fail me even in the moments I think He has. We are all connected you are in my life for a reason and I Love You!