Habits of Love

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
      - Soren Kierkegaard


There could be no truer statement for me. I have to say I can see the pattern of my life looking in the rearview mirror. I wish I would have known then what I know now frequently floats through my head. Today in the office we were talking about things in relationships that drive us crazy. I was explaining Scott's terrible habit that drove Hannah and I nuts. I would do anything to hear that sound again. I don't have that option so I must say that I will take the knowledge of annoying habits and live forward. 


Living forward means for me that if I find another love and he has habits that drive me nuts I will take the time to appreciate them and love him because of  his faults! Each of our own lives is filled with mistakes and happiness that we would love to do over. I seem to be in a position that very few embrace. I may have lost the person I love, who knew me and still loved me because I can look back from those memories I can live forward. 


I have grown so much in who I am. I have opened my heart up to living life and loving others. I know that I can be loved warts and all. Scott isn't the only one who can love me. I do love myself and I want to grumble and gripe about stuff and still love. Hey I guess for the next three years I will keep loving Hannah, empty soda cans, dirty clothes and all. Well you know in my eyes she will always be perfect. I know I have habits that drive her nuts. I know I have habits that drove Scott crazy but love was more powerful! For that I am thankful that I can look back and still live forward.