Second Chances

"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."
       - Harrison Ford


I guess I have a second chance. My life is certainly full of very large changes. Things I don't like and things I do like. Is it possible to want your old life back but still enjoy the new life too? It just really sucks to miss someone so much but I know I have to keep going because that isn't an option. I have people I enjoy spending time with in my new life. I'm not sure what that means. I know there are things I have to keep an open mind about for the future. There are people I enjoy being with and I know are completely different from Scott. There will never be a time that I get that Scott feeling back but what about laughing with friends over old television shows and maybe there will be a day I'm good with holding hands with someone else. Right now I still shy away from being touched much. Even if I had an opportunity to date I'm still not sure I could do that yet. I'm so strange. 


I think with the right person, someone I trust completely, I would be open to those second chances. I've dealt with so many changes and I'm living proof you have to take where you are and make the best of it. If I didn't I'd be locked away in a mental institution for the rest of my life. I look at everything around me and I see how I have made it this far. I know what I want and I know where I want to be. I'm not sure if it is the plan of my life but don't we all have a bit of control in our lives? I have so much that I will never get to change but I get to make decisions for myself sometimes. I will keep embracing my moments of where I'm supposed to be. I will keep smiling up into light and laughter. I feel the joys of life. That is where I can be right now. 


I may be in this place and have my moments but I know other people do too. I know that sometimes we don't stop to look at the second chances that maybe be right in front of us. I have learned that I have to make my choices carefully but I also know I still have to be willing to take chances. I can't hide in my heart and memories forever. I have to keep living life forward. I am open to my second chances. Are you?