Inner Wild Child

My bad girl side is itching to get out. It's funny because so many people just assume I'm always sweet. I have my moments but generally I am a nice person. I just happen to have a side that not many people get to see. Scott was one of those people and it's a good thing too. I miss being able to share that side with someone who loves me and takes care of me. Who can have a bad girl side though when responsibility catches up to you everyday! I guess I'll just have to settle for destroying my eardrums and my spot on the couch all the time.

I have so much in my life but it is just funny the little pieces I miss. The things I keep looking for around the house. I want to hear the bathtub running in the middle of the night or waking up being smothered in a hug. So many personal things, shared secrets that are forever ours. I wish I had that person in my life who understood me that well. There were so many times we could be across a room and just be together. Gotta love those moments of the world disappearing around you.

These are moments in life that make your heart full of joy and celebration. Tickling toes, pillow fights, midnight Yahtzee games and well all that stuff that goes along with it. It keeps my heart going. I see so many happy couples. You would think it would be painful and make my heart turn. It is, in fact, the opposite. Seeing that kind of love does make me miss my love but I feel joy for them. I want to know that the world continues to exist because of the power of love. I still have all this love to share. So I find new ways to express it, a smile, a wink, a laugh, a big hug, or holding a hand in time of need.

That love in my heart doesn't stop even when I have moments that my inner wild child needs to be released. I will cope and make the most of all of the emotions I feel in a day. I will make the restless energy useful! I get so much more done but it can be exhausting. I just need to know how to make real sleep happen! Maybe someday but not today. I will find my answers. My gift of knowledge makes it possible to accept each step of living forward and not make myself a stick in the mud sad sack. I have a life to live and maybe soon I can be a bit bad again! Sweet works most of the time but I'm so sick of the description.