On/Off Switch

I think my brain needs an on/off switch for tonight. I had a very busy day and for some reason that is okay but when I have days like that I can't turn my brain off when I get home. I'm in that why mood again. Not just why this happened but all the other thousands of why questions you can come up with. I feel like the kid who is learning about the world and drives Mommy nuts with the questions. My only problem is I'm the kid and the mommy all rolled into one! Makes for a schizophrenic kind of day.

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." - Charles Beard

I can stand outside in the cold of the night of winter and see the most beautiful sight. The night sky in Texas just goes on and on. I miss the nights of being bundled and looking at the floor of Heaven. I imagine all the possibilities that are up there. I ask all of those why questions and my answers are slowly being answered. Now really is it okay to feel my fun self being silly and goofy? Is it okay to know that I have possibilities but not know how to make them happen? I'm at it again asking too many questions. I need to go soak in the hot bath and delve into a good romantic mystery on my Kindle. If that is my extent of my love life this Valentine's weekend I know it is okay.

I know my mischief making spirit was at it again last night because when I woke up my big Buzz on my bed was cradling Dream bear in his arms. Then when I walked into the bathroom a certain over the shoulder holder was slung across the room. He is here with me. Scott is here and giving me comfort forever as I continue to make it in the land of the living. I am living forward to a new life. I'm taking the small steps to smile and visualize the possibilities that I'm really ready to continue forward. Somedays it is okay to pause and regroup but isn't that what a strategy is about. Isn't that how wars are fought and battles won? I will conquer this journey in my own space and time. I just have to stop and look up at the Stars of Texas and know I have possibilities for more in my life then being the crazy cat lady.