Kitty Heaven

Tonight Hannah, Mike and I lost the fourth member of our little family. You see even though life has changed and lived forward Mike, Hannah, Simba and I are still family. Simba was our very first Christmas present after we got married. She was our first child and Hannah always said we loved Simba more when she was mad at us. When Hannah was born I made up a song that I would rock her to sleep singing to her. The last verse was for Simba. I am Simba, pes kiki(pesky kitty), I am happy leave me be.

This afternoon, I picked Simba up from the vet. She was more alert and talking to us. Yes she is a Siamese so she has quite a vocabulary and well leave it to a speech therapist to understand the cat. Hannah asked her if she was feeling any better and she flat out said no! We got her home and she wanted to be cuddled. She purred in my arms but then she began to be agitated. I laid her down in her carrier and she slept.

Hannah had a Corrigan event tonight of paint wars in the park down from our house so I ran her over there. When I came back in five minutes her breathing was more labored and she couldn't hold her head up. I gave her the meds and a sip of water but that was a chore so I let her rest. When it was time for the paint covered teens to arrive back at the house she was slowly fading. My funny part of the evening was seeing Hannah and Grayson come home covered in paint! Grayson looked like a smurf. Hannah looked like a rainbow. I needed that smile. I couldn't even pretend to be mad at them with the joy on their faces. Grayson headed off to his house to shower and Hannah came in and scrubbed.

While she was in the shower Simba's breathing slowed and became more labored so I picked her up and cuddled her. Hannah came in and we wrapped her in a towel. I took her into the bathroom and sat on the floor letting the shower run hoping to give her some way to open her airways. While we were sitting there I was singing to her and telling her "It's okay! I love you!" I felt Scott enter the room and then felt her leaving. I told her it's okay to go sit and cuddle with Scott and Grams in Heaven. I called Hannah and told her to come and say goodbye. The three of us sat in the floor of the bathroom. Hannah and I cried as we continued to feel her strong heartbeat. She wasn't giving up but breathing was almost gone. We called Mike and we all said goodbye. She died in my arms with the love of our family surrounding her. Just as she has spent the last 16 years. She was older then that by what we have always guessed to be about a year and a half so she was almost 18 years old.

Mike just said it best "There is a dish of ice water waiting in Heaven for this special cat , Simba wasn't really a cat she was a caretaker she can never be replaced and I will miss her greatly" Thank you Simba for loving us unconditionally for driving us crazy sometimes but never giving in when you knew we needed to be loved. I will miss my good morning and my thank you's. I know you will visit and sit on the arm of the couch with your head in my arm giving me comfort.

So now I sit here with her in the kitty carrier. My friend Angela came straight over after she reached out to ask if I needed her here. I didn't hesitate and she comforted me through this new wave of grief. I hope there will be a point that I don't have these ongoing time bombs in my life. I need peace. I don't want to be the expert on grief but why do I have a feeling that God has a plan for me that I need to embrace instead of avoiding it! Simba wasn't just a pet she is a family member but really she has just put a kink in my plans to be a crazy cat lady!!! And Hannah's kitty well she just has her own agenda so we can't count on her. Tomorrow I will take her to the vet and have her cremated. It only seems fair that Mike and I will share her and never have to fight over the cat again. I love you my beautiful baby.