Love's First Kiss

Music. Music. Music. How does he do it? Why do I always feel like Scott is surrounding me with his love through music. Today I managed to go shopping for myself in the store that was always something for us. He always bought me a gift card for Christmas and then would go with me when I used it. He would insist on helping me and make it fun. I hate shopping and today the girls went with us. You see I know Scott was with me. I can't explain the feeling of just knowing he was with me. Today I bought smaller clothes. Wow! Not a weight loss program I recommend but I know he is proud of me. He always told me "I love who you are not what size you are!"

Later I heard a song that made me wish so many things. I hold in my heart the memory of Love's first kiss. How can a relationship be so powerful and be taken away so quickly? I go about my life now and I feel so empty in a part of me. There are other times I do feel alive and hopeful. Will there be more moments of time to stop for a memory? I think so just not the way we expected.

Tonight Hannah and I made a memory. I will forever remember sitting with my beautiful daughter at dinner when the waiter sat down our food. He was asking who had what. I said I'm soft and she's crispy. He looked at Hannah and said "is that a fact!" He grinned and winked at her. She turned 10 shades of red and we laughed. My baby is growing up. I know there will be memories in the making because they will be about Hannah.

I know I am "Unstoppable." I have the courage to continue making memories and exploring my life. I have the courage to take the memories of five wonderful years and keep living forward. We were together for a reason. Scott taught me true love isn't about just a physical place but emotional planes that transcend all of life's boundaries. There will be many more moments that take my breath away just as that first kiss. I know I can continue to make a life and learn to live a path that wasn't planned. Someday I might even get to have another Love's first kiss. That had better be a moment that Scott doesn't make his presence known because really that would just be comical! Then again I do love laughter. It has been a very powerful healing force in my heart through all of this.