Joyous Heart

"Joy comes from simple and natural things, mists over meadows, sunlight on leaves, the path of the moon over water. Even rain and wind and stormy clouds bring joy, just as knowing animals and flowers and where they live." -Sigurd F. Olson

I like the days that are filled with joy! Even when I am woken by a work call on a Saturday! Really I didn't know Therapy was a life or death situation. At least I know I did my part and took care of the "situation!" Then I spent the most wonderful day with Hannah. Lunch, shopping, mani/pedi, swimming and movie watching. It is the small joys of the day that make it easier to live.

I know how important it is to stop and find the joy in each day. I have come so far and yet the days that I battle the grief are fewer. I understand what it takes to live forward. I want to be able to keep going. If that means I continue with a few setbacks here and there I will be good.

I try very hard to let my joy guide my days and not be overwhelmed by the sadness. I like that I am able to smile and laugh with others. The really great part is that I can make others smile and laugh too! Strangely enough my heart is joyous today. I think the day spent was worth far more then joy. It means I keep healing.

Hannah and I sat talking about the upcoming football season. We are both ready for that season. I'm not wishing my life away but taking the time to enjoy each day. I do need the adrenaline! Nothing like a beautiful Friday Fall Football  night. I want to continue enjoying each day that I am given. I want to keep living. I also want to find something to do that isn't always alone. I can't expect H to always be my entertainment. I like doing somethings alone but really I'm not meant to be alone all the time.

Yesterday I ran into some girls that Scott and I used to work with at another place. One of them was someone Scott was always worried about. The other was one he was always teasing and joking with during the day. There are so many people in this world who were charmed by that man. I'm so very lucky to have been loved so deeply by him. One of the girls asked me if I had a new man in my life yet! I thought to myself that requires me to be in a spot to meet one but then again it will have to be someone who will understand that I'm not just a random dater. I told them I'm not in a hurry.

So today I am happy with the joy I have had in the little things for today. I can only control what is in my own heart. I take it one moment at a time and keep going! Now who has ideas of a possible companionship for me? I know one day at a time but I have to keep stepping forward out of this box and that seems like something that might be fun! There is more to life then grief. I have to keep living forward.