Grocery Store

Did you know that going to the grocery store can be a painful experience? Yes even before I hated it. I can't go there now. The last out of the house thing we did together was go to the grocery store. Scott was my amazing and did so many things some husbands wouldn't volunteer to do. He would always call to see if he need to pick anything up or not complain if I called and asked him to pick something up at the store. Granted I have a pantry full of stuff that only he would eat! Anyone need any Hormel shelf safe meals?

He had run a few errands on Sunday afternoon, texting and calling me the entire time he was gone. I was the one that was hurting and didn't feel well. My disease process of whatever that may be is painful. I was hanging out in our bed watching movies and reading. I have texts full of I'm going to get this and do we need that. He brought home weed-n-feed for the yard and over and out for the ants. He picked up cereal bars for me. They were on the counter. When someone was here they opened the box and took one out. I have the box stashed in the cabinet. I really think I'm nuts!

Prior to Scott's death we never had paper plates in the house. Now I have been using them because some great friends caring for us in the time after his death brought stacks of them. Plastic silverware too! I'm sure he's loving it. He used to tease me all the time about my dislike of wasting paper products into the trash. That would be why we had real dishes. I ate my solitary dinner on a paper plate tonight and could feel Scott laughing. His use of paper products was amazing to me. Not just paper plates but he went through paper towels and (shhhh) toliet paper at amazing speeds. I think I'm saving money on toliet paper alone!

Today I have laughed, cried and remembered! People keep asking me how I'm doing. My answer is just that I'm trying. I keep trying. I promise I keep trying.