Love

Earlier today I posted on my Facebook profile that the end of your life shouldn't be measured in dollars and cents but who you loved and how you treated others. It is true Scott was a very wealthy man indeed. My financial life is in a strange place but that doesn't really matter to me. I can make it. I have skills. Our life together wasn't about buying or having things. We had love. I don't want to measure his life with things ever. I want our girls to know how many memories we created. Not just in our travels but making homemade pizza together, putting up and tearing down a fence or eating ice cream for dinner sometimes! Those are the moments that matter.

I've had a lot of loss in my life. My life is mixed with joy and sadness but whose life isn't? If you've never lost then you are a very lucky person indeed. You can prepare for the passing of some loved ones but an accident that changes your life sends your life in all kinds of way. Right now I'm looking for a way to get through just one day without tears. I don't want to deal with somethings but life moves on and it doesn't just stop! I've learned so many things from Scott through the years. We both had our moments of frustration and anger but we balanced each other out. When he got upset I calmed him down and he did the same for me. I hear him now when I'm upset calming me down!

There could never be enough money to buy love that Scott gave out daily. He wasn't perfect. I could give you a list of when he was a doodoo head but who wants that? He loved people and he never met a stranger. He held doors for others, he made others smile and gave kinds words out freely. He wasn't a saint but he did give out love and helped others. His life was rich with in ways that I could never measure with dollars and cents. I don't think anyone should try to do that for anyone. My grandfather that passed away this year spent his life obsessed with money. It didn't make him a better person and now that he's gone I pray that he has found what he needs to work on as an angel and all that he missed by not giving out love freely to those around him.

We each have our own lessons to learn, our own places to be and people to help. Reach out and love someone. Find your own personal strength and take it to the limits. Give your love freely and don't expect anything in return. It will come back a thousand times all the more powerful. Love knows no boundaries of space and time. Scott's love is still giving me strength. I find comfort in that knowledge every moment I'm beyond coping. It gives me a place to breathe and find hope that the future will continue to give me love.