Life's moments

We went to dinner tonight and I can't believe the big void from losing two very important people in my life in less then a year. Grandma and Scott should have been there eating our favorite food - Mexican! We were seated at a table for SIX for just the four if us. I kept thinking about them. Scott got me through the loss of Grandma. He was there for me. It was why we shared so much about what we wanted to be done when our time in our physical form was done. I love them both. I miss them both!


Today the TV programming seems to be controlled somewhere else! It has been Scott's favorite day of things on TV. Two of his favorite movies and then his top actress. The very first movie we saw in the theater together with her in it! I can only smile for those events. I believe in the power of love and things that we can't explain. I'm holding onto these small things as gifts of love. Those things are giving me the power and strength to be here - left behind!

I can make decisions and I'm not sitting around waiting. I'm trying to keep living. I'm making small moments that add up to days and now weeks. I am learning to carry on conversations without crying. I'm learning to show people that talking about Scott is a good thing for me. His personality - fun, friendly, joyous, loving and happy. Strangers didn't exsist for him. We never went to a place he didn't find someone to talk to or that he already knew. He wasn't a grudge holder. He had a gift of forgiveness! If he wanted one this passed on and never forgotten - love each other as if it was time to say goodbye! Smile and love!