Music Speaks Loudly

This morning I melted in a meeting at work! I had to get up and walk out. I went into overload. I'm thankful for my work family because they truly are a family. They let me melt and apologize! I don't think I could do that anywhere but where I am. The addition to our building us growing. I'm achieving something that has been a personal triumph for me with my fabulous team! But I wouldn't be there without Scott. When I needed a job he got me out of bed and depression to find one. I love my job and I would be lost without being able to keep shuffling papers and focusing on my patients.

I have to admit during my morning long melt I finally experienced the desire to be with Scott. I willed it away, he willed it away and I sat in the bathroom sobbing for ten minutes. I got through it the feeling passed and I stood up again and kept going. Not easy but I did it.

We bought tickets to Stars on Ice in March. I should say I bought tickets. Scott was willing to go for his "girls"! They were part of our birthday surprise weekend for Laynie. I split up the gift because there were more tickets to another event and Hannah and I mailed them to her. I hope she gets to use them. Tonight however we took the Stars tickets and went with my Mom and a friend of hers. I cried everywhere but I also smiled. People looked at me strangely but I don't care. The skaters are beautiful. The music, however, spoke loudly tonight.

I didn't know the music or program beforehand. I only knew some of who was scheduled to attend. One of the first songs skated to was "One Day I'll Fly Away" Nicole Kidman from Moulin Rouge then "You'll Never Walk Alone" Barbra Streisand. The other two songs I tagged with my iPhone were "Who Wants to Live Forever" Queen and then "Brave" by Leona Lewis. The final kicker was Sasha Cohen skating to "Hallelujah". I was sobbing! The skating was beautiful but the music speaks. Tonight Scott was with Hannah and I as we clung together. We celebrated. I also kept thinking how when we watched the skating on TV he always say "it's more fun to see someone fall at least once!" that happened during Sasha's performance to "hallelujah" I know what I think! So tonight Happy Birthday Bear! We love you and are always here for you!