Friendship

True friendship powers life. True love powers the universe. Today I got the love of a friend who flew halfway across the country to hold my hand. She isn't the first friend to hold my hand. I should truly say family. I have lots of chosen family. I haven't survived this without the help of birth and chosen family.

I worked this morning and realized that my choice is about my patients. I know lots of things. I'm not the only person that knows lots of things but you there is room to meet in the middle. I'm not inflexible but I do matter and something I've worked hard on is important to me!

Susan arrived here to make our weekend a lot less lonely. We had several errands to run for Hannah and for some reason my bank card had decided to stop swiping. When my friends get together we always try to do things that are different and something regional to the visit. Did you know Chick-fil-A is unusual? We took Susan there for a quick lunch- something new to her.

A few hours passed in minutes. I would like other parts of my life to pass in minutes. It just takes time that I don't want to spend to get to the next corner. I want to feel happiness again like we shared. That's not possible because Scott was a mold that can't be recreated. Amazingly I was hungry again. I haven't been hungry in almost 9 weeks. Friday nights for our little family was usually Mexican food. So much so that my friends teased us about our predictability. The place we were headed didn't pan out. I had to cross another roadblock.

The restaurant we decided upon was the last Mexican food Scott and I shared for lunch on Good Friday. Did you know it is possible to walk into a restaurant and immediately know every place you have been seated and see some one's face sitting across the table from you? I crossed another bridge with the help of Hannah and Susan. Tonight was quieting and peaceful. I still had tears. I still have pain. I will never be whole again because my heart will always have a piece missing but Scott joins us in happy times and continues to give us love. He sends our friends and family to hold our hands. Another day might be different. Not today but for a bit I'm a little lighter because I'm not anticipating days. I'm living in the moment and suddenly I will live forward.