Once in a Lifetime

There will be times in each of our lives that we feel something can only happen once. Not that something similar is not possible but that particular event can never be recreated. Scott was a once in a lifetime kind of person and the love he brought to me was once in a lifetime. Tonight I had dinner with a friend Scott brought into my life. He collected people! Who couldn't love that smile, the big caring heart and the silly goofy stuff he would do. I love hearing stories about him. He wasn't perfect he had his moments but if we all don't then there is something wrong with you. I can say that three hours sitting in a restaurant was something given to me from beyond. He doesn't want me to feel pain and loneliness.

I don't know what my purpose or soul path in life is to be. I can't question but I can live onward. I continue to read. I'm devouring books on grief and love from God and those that have passed on. I have one book that I started but it was too hard at the time I bought it so I put it aside. Today I pulled it back up on my Kindle, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brook Noel. The place where I had stopped reading says, "remember, if someone says something like, "It's time now to get on with your life," you have the right to say, "In my time and God's time, not in your time."" I continue to learn from each day of this journey. I have a path to follow. It just isn't all laid out with shiny yellow brick. I can affirm myself. I know who I was and who I am meant to be are insignificant to who I am right now.

We bought a plaque over Christmas that says, "Cherish yesterday, Live today, dream tomorrow." It hangs in our living room over our family Christmas photo and the girls individual Christmas photos. Right now I can cherish and live. I'm working on dreaming. The other sign we bought on our New Year's trip, that I have yet to hang and had at his funeral says, "Love Never Fails." His love continues in all the lives he touched. He continues to send me love to send out to others and I receive from others in large and small ways - a patient who checks on me daily, a friend who picks up the phone to check on me, a new friend who takes me to dinner, talking for three hours and a daughter who sends me texts and photos on a trip.

I am transforming from who I was in my life with Scott. I am thankful for our love and can only live for today. I know not what tomorrow brings but I pray for continued love and kindness from others and a way to live forward in each day.