Working Hard

I'm so tired from not sleeping. I need to sleep and even taking the meds I'm not sleeping very well. So I'm going to head to bed now and read for a bit. I should try Scott's method of sleeping, read in the bathtub. I'd not be able to read my Kindle because I ruin it if I fell asleep and dropped it. I have a bookshelf full of books we had shared that are fully wrinkled after a trip or two in the bath.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss laughing and teasing him, amoung other things. He is physically gone but I feel him always. I went to see Fr. Brad at the Church this evening. It was a nice visit and next week I will go back to see him. I will attend Wednesday services as he leads them and see if I can find the Church home Scott and I had been searching for our own spiritual needs as a couple and as individuals. I know my relationship with God is strong. I am able to ask for help and guidance with love and light as I journey forward but I can do that anywhere. I just wish more people were able to realize the impact of the energy of love. I do my best to make it forward one step at a time and anything that I worry over I ask for help and continue to receive it. I thank God and my Angels each day for the love and support they give me.

As I was paying bills on one computer earlier, my other laptop switched into the picture screensaver mode. I was sitting on the couch and looked over and images flooded into my head, more then what I was viewing in the pictures. I could hear him talking to me as we did things together. I didn't break down and sob but the tears rolled down my cheeks as we shared memories together. I love him and miss him everyday. That won't change but I can't just stop living. I have to find myself and the inner power I have to be involved in my life. I can't just sit around and wait for my invisible expiration date to be with him. It isn't what he would want from me and I know he hasn't stopped sharing my life.