Kindness

Life goes on. Yes it does! Do I want it to each day? Not really but I don't have a choice. I don't like the days I start out bad but like I've said before I work myself to a point where I make my only goal of getting out of bed.

Tragedy is a place I would never wish on another soul but we will all be there at some point. It doesn't just have to be a horrible car accident. There are so many ways each of us can be touched my this part of life. In theater there are tragedies and comedies. I prefer the comedy. I can make the smiles easier then I used to be but the panic attacks are still here. I had reached a point where I wasn't having them as often actually almost never but that changed last week.

Today I made a choice to change my life. I have had a week to think about it and I'm okay because I got to make the choice. If you ever touch a person in life who has been where I've been don't judge them by how fast or slow they are taking this process. There is no expiration date on grief! It's not like the milk in the fridge, it just can't be dumped because someone tells you that you have to leave it at the door.

I'm trying to empower myself. I do have an inner strength but it waivers at times. That doesn't make me a bad person and well I can tell you I don't have to be sorry that my grief makes you recognize life is short. You can live to be 93 and in the scope of life it is short. I choose to walk myself to a place that I can understand who I am while I'm helping others. My light in my soul has a dimmer switch. The energy will be found but for now I am okay with being on low.

I challenge each of you to find a person in your life, besides me and do something that makes their day better. Don't ask for anything in return because then your soul will be receive a reward! This is my life. I have to live in it but I have free will to make choices that will lead me to a better day.