Past, present and future

I've had a busy and long day with such times that are very lonely. Hannah had to register for band today. That basically means we, her Dad and I, gave out large sums of money and I signed my name a bunch. I'm so proud of her. I know she will have a great time. It was strange to not be there with Scott in tow, along with Mike and Pamela. Poor kid having four parents. Mike, Pamela and I talked about how Scott was right there with us. He was just as excited to see her to this next step and had planned so far ahead talking about seeing her graduate. We confuse so many people because we are all still close. Hannah has four parents. Sure will save on the carpooling.

Then I came home and I've spent the day on the couch catching up on my Netflix discs sitting here. It was very hard to watch TrueBlood - season 2, disc 1. Scott was so looking forward to continuing our cuddle time with these discs. I watched and talked to him as things happened. It makes me feel more comfortable when I'm doing things that I know he wanted to be a part. So from that to Love Boat. Yes I know you can hear the theme song in your head right along with me. It is like hearing "It's a small world" So I've passed many hours today without words. I texted Hannah and we talked for a bit. She told me she was bored too.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I miss Scott getting me out of the house. I miss him never sitting still and always working on this or that. I miss taking an afternoon nap on our quiet weekends all cuddled together. I miss him so much. It is very hard to be doing things in life without him. It is amazing how important he was in all the little tiny things that happen in life and that we were never far apart. He is a one of kind and I know he is still here but it is hard. Now what do I do tomorrow. I will probably just hide from the world again because I can't come up with taking care of myself. I don't like being alone anymore.