I GIVE UP!

Always remember that God's dream for your life is so much bigger than your own. He's going to bring people across your path, who will help you, and He's going to arrange new opportunities for you along the way. You'll look back and say, "That was a God moment. I never could have orchestrated that all on my own." -Joel Osteen


Do you know how often I feel that! Why do people fight those  moments? What are we all so afraid of in life? I couldn't have orchestrated some of the things that happen each day in my life. I can't imagine having some of the people in my life if it weren't for God. It happens daily for me. I have just been able to accept all of the odd moments of the things that happen.
 
I have had a rough week but I keep going. Until this afternoon when I sat in my office sobbing! Rhonda and I were talking about my life and how I have one that many people would envy. A beautiful, smart, funny daughter, wonderful parents, friends who hold my hand and make me smile when I don't even know I need it. I have a nice home, a good job, and take vacations that are dreams! Yet here I am with all of this and I miss that partnership. I would trade most of it to have a yelling, door slamming, pouting fight with Scott.
 
I get so frustrated sometimes with people who just don't seem to care. I do have contact with some really amazing people but there are just enough who are place holders in life and don't even see what is right in front of their faces! The next time you want to pick a fight with your spouse or significant other remember there is someone right here who would love to have that chance again!
 
Tonight I came home listening to my usual station on the radio when I went back out to the car to go to my Band Backers meeting (my lifeline) the station was on something different. Rhonda laughs at me when stuff keeps happening around me! I just say hello Scott and keep going! Sometimes I may ask why or what am I not doing right but there are so many things that our vision is too limited to see. It is like when you lose something and it turns up in a spot you have looked! Or suddenly the light bulb comes on to look in a certain spot or you had some information but it is gone from your computer so you have to call a specific person again! Have you ever thought that you were meant to interact with that person. You could have made their day with a kind word or a simple joke.
 
I think that so many times a day. On Sunday, Hannah and I went home a completely different way. Our normal path was blocked by construction and our secondary path was blocked by traffic. I went a way Scott and I used to travel together from work on the backroad. This same path I could take a bit out of the way but the shorter road goes right past the turn for Scott's pond. I made the turn. It is only the second time in 13 months that I have made that turn. I felt the draw to show Hannah where he was. We weren't out there for long. I cried but that isn't anything new! After we left I sped off down the road at my usual speed out there. In all the years I've gone that way I got stopped. Hannah says I played the dead husband card to just get a warning ticket. I told him the truth when he asked me where we were coming from and why we were out there!  I have to accept there was a reason my Angel wanted me to slow down.
 
I trust in God to surround me with light and love, protect me, guide me and show me the way. If you are drawn to something or someone trust your heart and God's power to lead you on the right path. We still have the freedom of choice but sometimes you just shouldn't try to fight what is right in front of you! Sometimes I have to just say "I GIVE UP!" and trust in God. I may want something to happen but I need to stop and listen because I may already have the answer but the patience to wait for it to happen isn't always easy!