Puzzles

"Out of every crisis come the chance to be reborn, to reconceive ourselves as individuals, to choose the kind of change that will help us to grow and to fulfill ourselves more completely." -Nena O'Neill

I didn't get to write yesterday but that was a good thing for me. I went to bed early for me. Now I'm not saying I slept but I read and destressed myself. I had a huge complement yesterday from a coworker. Our maintenance guy was fixing the a/c in our office. He told me "You must be an incredible Mom! You have this amazing quality about you. You never get real ruffled and you have this peace and patience. You have taken a part of something horrible and grown." I did tell him I have my moments but yes I have changed.

This evening I was waiting on my car at the dealership getting her oil changed. As I was sitting there Oprah was on in the lounge area, she was talking about moments that were most inspirational to her during her shows. There was a woman who had dealt with the loss of her daughter and how she realized she had to make a change, embrace the memories of her daughter and keep living to honor her daughter. That is exactly who and what I want. I would not be true to Scott's memories if I continued to focus on his death.

I have grown so very far in my life over this last year. The piece of that puzzle is that I have to keep focusing on more growth. If I stop learning then I have finished where I am in life. My goal though isn't about me but about giving what I have learned to others. I have my smile, laughter and love to share. Today someone jokingly said to me, stick with me and I'll make you rich. My instant thought was I just want love. I have so much love from so many people. I want that to never stop but for that to keep happening I must keep living forward and loving forward.

During Oprah's show today she also said, "when you are in a relationship you bring from your past the things that you need to heal from." I agree! I healed from lots of things in my past with Scott. I will keep growing and learning from what I have survived in this pain. I know who I am most days but it really is a never-ending puzzle. I want to keep finding "sunshine on a cloudy day in the month of May!" This puzzle has more then fit in the box, just like Mary Poppins carpet bag. Puzzles are always a lot more fun when working with a group of people.