Lemons!

Here I am another Sunday night and counting. I keep busy. I really try to focus but sometimes I feel like the batch of lemons is overwhelming some days. I can only stir so many pitchers of lemonade. I guess I need to learn how to make lemon pie. Whose up for some taste testing! I know I have a great life but on Sundays I just can't help thinking that my life was so much better before. I can't stop questioning the will of God today. I don't have the patience to deal with more lemons. I don't have the power today to feel blessed with what I have. I don't know why. I haven't let it take me over though. I have taken my mind to other places.

I feel like sitting an crying. I hate it when I feel oh poor pitiful me. That is not who I am and it is not how I define my life. I love Hannah and what we have together. It just feels today as if a huge chunk of my life is gone and I have to be like this forever. I am whining. I'm a big huge crybaby I guess. I try so very hard to just keep going. I make it most days. Today not so much.

Instead of feeling that pain I have gone into activity overload. I have planted ten pots of plants out in the garden, cut hundreds of pieces of paper to make decorations for the band banquet, tackled Wal-mart and the grocery store with Hannah, mounds of laundry and making Disneyland Mint Juleps! I found a new use for lemonade! I just threw myself into tasks. I jumped from task to task at some points but well here it is the end of the day.

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe something good will happen or maybe I will keep finding chores to make it through each day. At some point maybe I will find a better life then I had before but really this is just still a bit of a half life for me. I guess I'd better go google more recipes to do with lemons. (darn TV commercials with talking lemons)!